Balance

As of right now, i am trying to eating healthy and exercising instead of not eating and exercising like crazy. my mind is all over the place and i can't seem to find that stability. nothing seems stable in my life anymore and i can't seem to control anything. How will i ever get past this? it seems like nothings looking up. ever. i try and try and im not seeing the results i want.

Time Goes On

So since my last post and before today, I was perfectly fine. But, I hung out with that group of girls, and boom. right back to square one. i find myself trying so hard over and over to fit in with them physically. and i can't seem to find that perfection im struggling so hard to reach. Over and over i tell myself im not good enough for them and i dont look pretty enough for them. why cant these thoughts just go away. why cant i be as happy as the girl i pretend to be. im sick of the real me dying on the inside, striving for perfection while the me that everyone else sees is perfectly fine. what is up with me and this idea of perfection? why can't i just do one thing perfectly for once?

Perfection

http://afnoonaa.tumblr.com/post/55383356452/the-suffocation-of-thoughts-1

At My Lake

Sorry to all of my readers, I have been gone at my lake house for Fourth of July, and just returned today. Things have been up and down recently. I've had my good days where I eat what I want and don't feel guilty, but I also still have those days once in awhile i can't help but watch everything I eat. I hate that nothings stable anymore and I can't seem to control my emotions. I wish there was somthing I could do to just get rid of all this hurt and move on with my life. When that day comes, I will then be truely happy..